I have decided to try to set aside 1 day each week to share a motivational story or a great quote.
Here’s 1 of my little stories.
Sometime last year, I was having what I thought was a toothache, causing headaches sand more.
As someone who’s afraid of a dentist, I procrastinated and refused to see any doctor.
ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ʳᵉᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃᵗᵉˢ
Sometime in March, I had a sharp pain at my jaw area and hop in to a dentist right in front of me. Before I seen the Dentist, they told me I should see a Doctor or head to a hospital.
I went to a clinic upstairs and was informed it could be a nerve pain due to dental issues.
𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝓎𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉
𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓀𝒾𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓇𝓈?
After much attempts, I finally landed myself in the hospital. Things got worse.
The dentist never came. The doctors suspected I had other issues leading to the jaw pain. To cut the story short, there was no cure (or medications) for me for many days, except for paracetamols.
I had tried a nerve painkiller which had a side effect on me
(𝓉𝒷𝒽 𝐼 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓈𝓊𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝓉
𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓊𝓃𝓁𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓎
𝓂𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝒾𝓉):
it magnifies my pain by 5-10 times and lasts throughout half the day.
But I could finally sleep at night.
𝔄𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔯𝔰
I’m allergic to all forms of painkillers so nothing was able to help me.
The pain finally became so bad that I cannot sleep nor eat. The doctors decided to order a type of nerve painkiller from overseas for me to try.
More (𝒰𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒) blood tests were carried out.
The test results came back and it seems that the chances of a drug allergy was low for this new drug.
ˢᵗʳⁱᵏᵉ ˡᵒᵗᵗᵉʳʸ ᶠᵃᵗᵉ
I wish I was able to strike real lottery in life. Unfortunately, I had skin allergy to the new drug within an hour. Afraid that it would cause my face to ‘rot and tear’ too, we halt the medication. In fact, it had proven to be of no use to me.
𝕀’𝕞 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕒𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕤 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜
In the days that lead up to much more excruciating pain, I did something horrible.
There was a few days where I was totally at my wits end. I couldn’t handle anything.
The pain was so bad it beats any pain I have had before, be it a miscarriage, chemotherapy or giving birth.
I cannot even describe the hell I was in. Every moment, I wish someone can just ₮ɆⱤ₥ł₦₳₮Ɇ ₥Ɏ Ⱡł₣Ɇ.
The hospital staff did not know how to help either. No doctors were available that night.
I did the most sinful thing.
ɐɯɐɹp ɥɔnɯ ooʇ ɥɔʇɐM
I lost all my will power at some time in the night.. and then I broke a tooth brush and tried to cut myself. I’m not sure whether I was trying to suicide, to get attention, or to transfer my pain. I was told I banged myself too (not that l remember).
ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢᵉᵈ ⁱᵗ ᴿᴵᴳᴴᵀ, it doesn’t work this way. I went straight to lvl 99 in pain-hell.
A police officer happened to walk past and warned me of my actions. The nurses wrapped my wound and ‘tied’ me up for the night.
ꫝꫀꪖꪜꫀꪀ ⅈડ ꪖ ρꪶꪖᥴꫀ ꪮꪀ ꫀꪖ𝕣𝕥ꫝ
I guess luck finally came, or like a drug addict, I suddenly had enough power to overcome the pain.
It seemed that perhaps I had banged myself at some right angles? The pain reduced greatly. PLEASE DON’T TRY.
As all the scans and blood tests showed I’m perfectly healthy, and medications didn’t work on me, I was preliminary diagnosed with Trigeminal neuralgia.
Trigeminal neuralgia is a chronic pain condition that affects the trigeminal nerve, which carries sensation from your face to your brain.
I was discharged.
Today, I’m still battling with the pain every single day. TCM help me a lot. Similar to what my Ang moh Doctors tell me, my Sinseh also advised me against direct sunlight.
The pain is pretty bearable on most days.
I’m not on any medications either.
Peppermint cold drinks help me too (my excuse for peppermint Bubbleteas?).
I just want to say, 𝑮𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.
Despite the overwhelming feeling of wanting to just give up, it’s actually the most important time 𝕟𝕠𝕥 to.
In the past, I really hate visitors when I’m unwell. But through this episode, I realised partly due to pride, and mostly due to the overwhelming love & support given to me, I was able to embrace the pain much much longer.
𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑲𝒀𝑶𝑼 to everyone
I know that
talk is cheap.
I know that
it’s never easy.
𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙪𝙢𝙗 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙥𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 now,
𝙄’𝙢 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜
and I hope all of us
can try to be strong
and forget about GIVING UP.