Almost 2 years into organising parenthood events, a little self reflection this morning.
My temper didn’t get better certainly. Sometimes people tell me, wow you have met so many families and seen a lot more, your love and patience towards kids must be super high.
Usually this is the case, you won’t flare up at others and even find their kids so so adorable. But towards my own child who is always at my event, at times I do flare up at her. For instance, when she decided to ask me to stop working knowing I’m busy at that peak hour. Then guilt strikes me after I give her a verbal warning. She’s just a toddler. She just wants my attention.
Overtime, my little one learnt to observe and learn to be more patient. I bring her to appointments and to events (no $ bring overseas experience lah) to let her know how I work and why I work. As well as to not indulge overly in gadgets.
So today, if I go Suntec, Tampines and etc, she will remind me of the events I did and how happy she was!
Of course, we also meet people who ‘trample’ on my child as if she’s transparent. Luckily she didn’t have any phobia but learnt to stay away from crowd (thankfully).
At times, I do see parents rushing here and there. You can hear them rushing their kids as well to hurry up and complete the game, hurry up and score. You may also See parents joining in due to either impatience or trying to help the kids to win.
Because these ain’t my kids, neither my staff Nor me will comment. At times, I wonder why so rush? Why die die must win? Is this good example? However, I come to realize some of these parents have formed the habit, probably unknowingly, and they didn’t know that they have rushed kids or even shouted at them.
Why do I say so?
There are some videos we can’t share or post as clearly the actions of the parents wouldn’t be approved by the ‘social standards’. At times I would ask some of them where they are heading later or why so rush (in playing)? They would usually tell me how packed the day is and that if they don’t help, the kid is wasting time / going to lose. We even meet parents who teach / show kids to cheat directly or indirectly.
So I wonder, does packing them with alot activities work? Is this true bonding? Or I would say quality bonding? What thoughts, behaviour and habits will form along the way ?
While I wonder these, some even thinks the parents are cheap skates. But hey, no parent is a cheap skate. When they decided to birth the child, that’s a lifetime of costs. So how is that a cheapskate?
Even I, will rush my child at times to ...
Can you walk faster?
Can you eat faster?
Can you color faster?
Can you stop crying?
Can you don’t repeat?
Can you hurry up?
I shouted at my Chloe at times, pulling my hair off, and many times I have to learn to calm myself down. And I’m guilty but I’m a human afterall!
but NO, this isn’t a valid excuse. But with help, we can be reminded of our own behaviour.
Does the above sound familiar? I may rush her to eat or bathe faster, I may impatiently ask her to please stop crying or stop repeating. As for games, I’m not sure do I do that. But I’m very sure, if I don’t have ample time or a bad mood day, I may also start rushing. More than often, my family members are the only ones who Dare to reprimand and tell me to stop my annoying & unhealthy actions!
It is a bad habit of me and I wish to change for the better. Do remind me if you see me rushing my kid in future!!
Okay it’s time for work after being sick for a week (still sick). I hope when I do read back this post, or when people see it, remind ourselves, and especially me, to spend true quality time with our kids and to preach the right and desired behaviour we hope our kids would have.
N P.S, not commenting or rather, not exposing is my little respect to fellow parents because not everyone can take criticisms well (even I can’t).
I won’t Voice out unless it’s really too much of that parent. But, if I’m not doing well enough, I also hope to hear genuine advices. Afterall, parenthood shouldn’t be alone.
Awesome day ahead!